Hello!
I've been meaning to post an update much sooner but between work and keeping up with my small hurricane of a son, the days have been full.
I have some news I'm just bursting to tell everyone about!! However I still feel its not the right time to go public with my surrogacy journey so this blog (and a few of my closest loved ones) will have to suffice for the time being 😊
The phone call with the intended parents went marvelously!
Throughout the whole conversation, we all jived quite well. We admitted that the whole formal phone conversation meeting thing was a bit on the awkward side but we all rolled with it well. They still sound exactly as they seemed on their parent bio. They are both down to earth and hard working guys who are in VERY deserving of a family of their own. With each answer they provided, I was hollering "Yes!!"...in my head of course 😅. Apparently they have 6 viable embryos and were hoping for a boy and a girl. Low and behold, the two healthiest embryos are just that! Beyond that, they brought up multiple times that they want this all to remain as safe as possible for me and would not consider anything that would put my safety in jeopardy (I do realize pregnancy is wildly unpredictable and is inherently risky in itself but I - as well as my doctor - feel that I am at a relatively low risk for complications due to my age and health status...sorry to sound like a public broadcast warning for a hot second there). Being reassured of this in multiple ways, without even outright questioning them on their concerns for my safety make me feel like we are all in this for the right reasons and have everyones best interests at heart.
So I am officially matched with my intended parents (as of last Monday)!!!!!
Now onward to the traveling. I am slotted to travel to San Diego on the evening of the 1st (the agency was even kind enough to accommodate my wish to leave as late as possible on that day because it will be Armin's 4th birthday 💚. I got a list of the itinerary yesterday and immediately got the feeling I had back on the first day of my freshman year in high school. That "oh shit, I have to be here at this time. What if I don't wake up on time? How will I get there? Goodness sakes, should I eat before? What should I wear?". Those feelings. Luckily, the coordinator for the agency I'm going through laid it all out pretty fool proof for me so I'm hoping all will go well next week. They are to run some blood/urine tests, do an overall exam and run me through the details of the fertility meds I'll be starting on...if all looks well.
I'm still nervous there will be a hitch. We've made it this far and I KNOW in my heart that this is the couple I absolutely want to do this for so I don't want to let them down and delay the process for them as well as I'm just so freaking excited to be helping them create their own little family!
So keep your fingers crossed that I:
A) Can make it from Sioux Falls to the San Diego Fertility Center without royally screwing up my itinerary.
B) Am in good shape to be a good candidate for this.
C) Don't make any typical embarrassingly awkward remarks to the staff at said fertility center.
D) Make it there and back safely.
Here's to the next step! 🙌
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Monday, September 17, 2018
Meet the Parents
Last week, after working a string of night shifts, I was tiredly playing with Armin when I got an email from my matching coordinator through IARC.
She had found potential parents for me to surrogate for!
Just reading the title of the email had me beside myself. I opened the email and skimmed through (seeing that they had written a two page bio about themselves and included some pictures of them). Out of respect for my time with Armin, I mustered the self control to wait to read the bio/email until after he went to bed that night. Once I finally had the time to, I sat down and read their bio.
(For respect for their privacy, I want to keep their names personal until I've run it by them). They are have been married for 3 years now and are very active and family oriented. They were both raised by single mothers and both still live close to their families. They have pets and love to bike together and one of them even does a "Big/Little Brother" mentoring-type of program. Their views on parenting align well with my own and they have similar desires toward staying in contact throughout the pregnancy and after. Also, they want a twin pregnancy and would like to transfer before the end of the year.
Holy cats! This is perfect and...say what?! I might potentially be helping them out this soon? I know I was antsy to get this ball rolling but, my stars, I thought I'd have more hoops to jump through (which I do) to get to that point.
Reading up on their personalities and relationship as well as their parenting goals really allowed this all to sink in more with me. These could be the guys I will be helping out. I have more of a palpable way of imagining my goal of helping others create a family.
And they seem downright - wonderful -. 😊
So now we move on to a little getting to know you phone call. Which will occur in approximately 2 hours.
I had every ambition of waking up early, getting a good run in, showering and being ready for this call by then.
Currently, I have been awake for roughly an hour, have yet to even drink my coffee and am typing this as I sit slovenly on the couch 😬 Guess that's a more realistic expectation of how energetic I would be after working the weekend.
I've looked through some of the questions the coordinator will be going through with me and I'm not really concerned about preparing for anything. They're all pretty straight-forward and ones that I can easily answer being my genuine self. Here are a few examples:
-Why are you wanting to be a surrogate and how does your partner (if applicable) feel about you doing this?
-Who do you consider your support system through this and what is their reaction to this?
-My pregnancy history, the doctor I intend to see here for my pregnancy.
-Lifestyle changes I intend to make throughout the pregnancy as well as the intended parent's expected lifestyle changes of me throughout the pregnancy.
-Expected amount of contact from each parties during and after pregnancy.
-The clinic and the number of embryos they intend to transfer (and how I feel about that number).
-How both parties feel about genetic testing, selective reduction (should the embryos unintentionally split and make even more babies), and thoughts on termination if the baby is deemed to have any terminal or otherwise detrimental genetic issues.
Oy!
I have a feeling this will be a bit of a whirlwind of a phone call with how broad those questions span.
But those are very important things well all need to square away and make sure are understood if we are going to go ahead with this journey together.
I'm more nervous about making a good first impression on the potential dads.
I do believe I'm not the greatest at making first impressions. I can be a little awkward and not the greatest conversationalist so I just hope I don't come off the wrong way to them in a few hours.
So here I sit, just waiting and still trying to get the motivation to do much else with myself right now 😅. I'll keep you all posted on how this call goes!
She had found potential parents for me to surrogate for!
Just reading the title of the email had me beside myself. I opened the email and skimmed through (seeing that they had written a two page bio about themselves and included some pictures of them). Out of respect for my time with Armin, I mustered the self control to wait to read the bio/email until after he went to bed that night. Once I finally had the time to, I sat down and read their bio.
(For respect for their privacy, I want to keep their names personal until I've run it by them). They are have been married for 3 years now and are very active and family oriented. They were both raised by single mothers and both still live close to their families. They have pets and love to bike together and one of them even does a "Big/Little Brother" mentoring-type of program. Their views on parenting align well with my own and they have similar desires toward staying in contact throughout the pregnancy and after. Also, they want a twin pregnancy and would like to transfer before the end of the year.
Holy cats! This is perfect and...say what?! I might potentially be helping them out this soon? I know I was antsy to get this ball rolling but, my stars, I thought I'd have more hoops to jump through (which I do) to get to that point.
Reading up on their personalities and relationship as well as their parenting goals really allowed this all to sink in more with me. These could be the guys I will be helping out. I have more of a palpable way of imagining my goal of helping others create a family.
And they seem downright - wonderful -. 😊
So now we move on to a little getting to know you phone call. Which will occur in approximately 2 hours.
I had every ambition of waking up early, getting a good run in, showering and being ready for this call by then.
Currently, I have been awake for roughly an hour, have yet to even drink my coffee and am typing this as I sit slovenly on the couch 😬 Guess that's a more realistic expectation of how energetic I would be after working the weekend.
I've looked through some of the questions the coordinator will be going through with me and I'm not really concerned about preparing for anything. They're all pretty straight-forward and ones that I can easily answer being my genuine self. Here are a few examples:
-Why are you wanting to be a surrogate and how does your partner (if applicable) feel about you doing this?
-Who do you consider your support system through this and what is their reaction to this?
-My pregnancy history, the doctor I intend to see here for my pregnancy.
-Lifestyle changes I intend to make throughout the pregnancy as well as the intended parent's expected lifestyle changes of me throughout the pregnancy.
-Expected amount of contact from each parties during and after pregnancy.
-The clinic and the number of embryos they intend to transfer (and how I feel about that number).
-How both parties feel about genetic testing, selective reduction (should the embryos unintentionally split and make even more babies), and thoughts on termination if the baby is deemed to have any terminal or otherwise detrimental genetic issues.
Oy!
I have a feeling this will be a bit of a whirlwind of a phone call with how broad those questions span.
But those are very important things well all need to square away and make sure are understood if we are going to go ahead with this journey together.
I'm more nervous about making a good first impression on the potential dads.
I do believe I'm not the greatest at making first impressions. I can be a little awkward and not the greatest conversationalist so I just hope I don't come off the wrong way to them in a few hours.
So here I sit, just waiting and still trying to get the motivation to do much else with myself right now 😅. I'll keep you all posted on how this call goes!
Tuesday, September 4, 2018
Something New
Well this is an entirely new experience all around. Never have I ever in my life started a blog. Fun fact as well, never have I ever been able to say that I am pursuing the potential for me to become a surrogate.
Yep, you read that right.
Someone else's bun will be in my oven.
An unconventional oven of sorts. 😉
I wanted to start this blog to sort of document my experience in this process. I have now told my immediate family, my close friends and (in a couple days) my workplace.
Oofdah.
So for those who know me, I am pretty intentionally quiet about my personal life. Sure, I'm like any millennial who enjoys posting the occasional photo/ditty on Facebook about people/things that are near and dear to my heart. However, I also like the privilege of not having the fine details of my life on show for all to see. It goes without saying, then, that writing this blog is a pretty significant step outside of my comfort zone as far as sharing my personal info.
Now that you know how profound this is for me...let's move on to this whole extreme babysitting process.
For many years, I've thought it would be pretty awesome to become a surrogate for someone else. During those years, however, I was convinced I wouldn't be a candidate for such a thing. I'm a divorced mother, I've had an ovarian cyst, I definitely enjoyed my early 20s, I have experienced a miscarriage and I had terbutaline (a shot to stop contractions) when I was 35 weeks and 6 days along (a technicality) with Armin for what I have now been told were “unproductive contractions”. Despite my desire to help those in need of someone to carry a child, I'd dismissed my history as something that would not qualify me to become the ideal surrogate candidate.
And I went on about my life.
Then, a coworker began looking into surrogacy. I followed what she was going through with her surrogacy and seeing her posting/talking to her about the progression of her journey in this process got me more and more curious. So I decided to take the leap.
I figured "what the heck?". If this is truly something I want to do for an individual or couple, there's no better time than the present to look into it and the worst that this agency can say is "We're sorry, but you're just not cut out for this". Though I wouldn't have liked that response, at least then I would KNOW that I'm not cut out for this...if I'm truly not cut out for this.
So I have officially decided to go through International Assisted Reproductive Center (IARC for short) to help me through this journey. I chose them because they were local, the reviews I had read on them were profoundly positive and I just had a good "feeling" about them when dissecting their website.
About a month later, I have gone through an initial call to explain what is ALL involved in this process (down to talking about how I would explain this to Armin, how I would handle potentially being on bedrest, if I am ok with the parent(s) making certain decisions during the pregnancy). And there was no pressure through all of it. I set the limits on what I was comfortable and not comfortable with and the coordinator (Nicole) was 100% supportive through all of it. Then, I moved on to the actual application. This included typical questions about my medical history, social history, etc. I had a lot of questions throughout this process but thankfully, Nicole was able to guide me through the process easily 😊
Then on to the nitty gritty details of verifying if my insurance company would cover a surrogate pregnancy, the psych evaluation and gathering various other information to piece my "profile" together.
Which all leads me to where I am now!
I got the official email last week saying I've been approved through the surrogacy screening process and I am moving forward to the matching stage!!
I am BEYOND excited!
Like christmas in (then) August excited.
Like finding out the person ahead of you in Starbucks just paid for 5 years of coffee for you (does anyone even know what that feels like? I can only imagine...).
Like winning the dang lottery 😊😊
I cannot wait to meet whoever I am able to help out with through this process. I want to tell them I'm here for them. That I will do what it takes to give them the family they want. That I will protect this potential pregnancy with all that I have. And that I feel for them.
I want to be able to walk through this with them and come out knowing I did this for a wonderful and meaningful reason.
And I want to be able to bring some laughter and sarcasm to them through this as well :)
So, here it is. This first post and one of the first few milestones in this crazy, fantastic experience!
Cheers to an Unconventional Oven!
Yep, you read that right.
Someone else's bun will be in my oven.
An unconventional oven of sorts. 😉
I wanted to start this blog to sort of document my experience in this process. I have now told my immediate family, my close friends and (in a couple days) my workplace.
Oofdah.
So for those who know me, I am pretty intentionally quiet about my personal life. Sure, I'm like any millennial who enjoys posting the occasional photo/ditty on Facebook about people/things that are near and dear to my heart. However, I also like the privilege of not having the fine details of my life on show for all to see. It goes without saying, then, that writing this blog is a pretty significant step outside of my comfort zone as far as sharing my personal info.
Now that you know how profound this is for me...let's move on to this whole extreme babysitting process.
For many years, I've thought it would be pretty awesome to become a surrogate for someone else. During those years, however, I was convinced I wouldn't be a candidate for such a thing. I'm a divorced mother, I've had an ovarian cyst, I definitely enjoyed my early 20s, I have experienced a miscarriage and I had terbutaline (a shot to stop contractions) when I was 35 weeks and 6 days along (a technicality) with Armin for what I have now been told were “unproductive contractions”. Despite my desire to help those in need of someone to carry a child, I'd dismissed my history as something that would not qualify me to become the ideal surrogate candidate.
And I went on about my life.
Then, a coworker began looking into surrogacy. I followed what she was going through with her surrogacy and seeing her posting/talking to her about the progression of her journey in this process got me more and more curious. So I decided to take the leap.
I figured "what the heck?". If this is truly something I want to do for an individual or couple, there's no better time than the present to look into it and the worst that this agency can say is "We're sorry, but you're just not cut out for this". Though I wouldn't have liked that response, at least then I would KNOW that I'm not cut out for this...if I'm truly not cut out for this.
So I have officially decided to go through International Assisted Reproductive Center (IARC for short) to help me through this journey. I chose them because they were local, the reviews I had read on them were profoundly positive and I just had a good "feeling" about them when dissecting their website.
About a month later, I have gone through an initial call to explain what is ALL involved in this process (down to talking about how I would explain this to Armin, how I would handle potentially being on bedrest, if I am ok with the parent(s) making certain decisions during the pregnancy). And there was no pressure through all of it. I set the limits on what I was comfortable and not comfortable with and the coordinator (Nicole) was 100% supportive through all of it. Then, I moved on to the actual application. This included typical questions about my medical history, social history, etc. I had a lot of questions throughout this process but thankfully, Nicole was able to guide me through the process easily 😊
Then on to the nitty gritty details of verifying if my insurance company would cover a surrogate pregnancy, the psych evaluation and gathering various other information to piece my "profile" together.
Which all leads me to where I am now!
I got the official email last week saying I've been approved through the surrogacy screening process and I am moving forward to the matching stage!!
I am BEYOND excited!
Like christmas in (then) August excited.
Like finding out the person ahead of you in Starbucks just paid for 5 years of coffee for you (does anyone even know what that feels like? I can only imagine...).
Like winning the dang lottery 😊😊
I cannot wait to meet whoever I am able to help out with through this process. I want to tell them I'm here for them. That I will do what it takes to give them the family they want. That I will protect this potential pregnancy with all that I have. And that I feel for them.
I want to be able to walk through this with them and come out knowing I did this for a wonderful and meaningful reason.
And I want to be able to bring some laughter and sarcasm to them through this as well :)
So, here it is. This first post and one of the first few milestones in this crazy, fantastic experience!
Cheers to an Unconventional Oven!
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